White Male Property Owners Are Evil
Developer(s): Square Enix
Publisher(s): Square Enix
Release date: Christmas 2017
Game modes: Single-player video game, Multiplayer game
Ratings: Teen (13+)
Platform(s): PlayStation 4, Windows PC

The object of the game White Male Property Owners Are Evil is to kill every last Caucasian male property owner on the face of the Earth and return ownership of the land to its native inhabitants (that were there before the Europeans discovered the land). Players may choose from different ethnic groups including: Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Black, Arab, Robot, or Sentient Ape. Unlockable characters include Osama bin Laden, Emperor Hirohito, Che Guevara, and Obama (from the Planet of the Apes).

Alliances can also be signed with fellow non-Caucasians like the Celts and the descendants of the tribes that Greeks/Romans conquered, Australian aboriginals, pretty much everyone from Cairo to Cape Town, the Native Americans and the First Canadians, the descendants of the Mayans and the Incans, Chinese communists, Hong Kong citizens who aren't white, and any other person who isn't white. However, these agreements must be renewed within five turns or else the alliance is automatically cancelled. The tribes can declare war on each other just like they can do to a Caucasian male landowner.




Players can choose which continent (North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe, and Australia) to wreak havoc with. He can eventually go to all six continents but must wipe out the white male property owners one continent at a time. By getting rid of the white male property owners, the native tribes of the Earth will have the strength to move our globalized economy in a more spiritual direction. These killing instruments can range from your fists to a massive arsenal of nuclear weapons up to and including the cobalt bomb. Each of these weapons can be bought from either Al Qaeda, the Soviet Army, the People's Republic of China or through the Palestinians.

Advertisements can be dispensed on the newspaper, television, the Internet, and even on documentaries about how the white male landowners exploit the land and pollute the Earth. Players can even link them to historical events like global warming (also known as climate change,) the World Wars, Canada's recent Harmonized Sales Tax (HST) and even the Great Depression. An unique encyclopedia will allow players to learn how white males exploited the world around them for 6000 years - starting when they decided to kill animals for food 2500 years before the birth of Jesus Christ. One of the bonus rounds would be to go back in time to 2003 and defeat the evil corporation minions of the Lehman Brothers before they can singlehandly start the late-2000s recession by luring people into these evil sub-prime mortgages (you know those things caused the recession).

The white male landowners will try to stop you with other methods like invoking their Parliament or sending your Tribal Chief to court. No weapons are allowed in the coutroom so the players must hire lawyers to prove that you own the land (as opposed to the white male property owners.) You must prove that your ancestors were too primitive to believe in ownership laws and that their primitive instincts caused them to get drunk and hand over their land to the white people in exchange. Get the judge to expel all the white people of your land (even if that means the judges have to go back to Europe with them - the only continent where the white people ARE the natives).

Buildings that white people have

  • Houses
  • Apartment
  • Condos
  • Towers
  • Golf courses
  • Country clubs
  • Speedways
  • Factories (used and abandoned)
  • Meat farms (where animals are slaughtered every day for food)
  • Fish farms
  • Government buildings

Actions to make before the deed is done

  • Violent protest (to rid the white people of any able-bodied men)
  • Nonviolent protest (takes longer but it strips the white men of their resources while trying to end "your little rebellion")
  • Tire burning
  • Sit-ins
  • Protest music singing
  • General strike

Actions to make after the deed is done

  • Convert land to grassland
  • Convert land to forest (takes longer than converting land to grassland)
  • Clean up all pollution (takes the longest out of the three "converting" activities)
  • Raze farmland (and re-introduce livestock back into the wild)
  • Raze urban area (and re-located all non-Caucasian residents to the rural areas)
  • Execute surviving Caucasians nearby (and then forcibly marry their womenfolk)
  • Enslave surviving Caucasians nearby (both men and women are enslaved by this action)
  • Raze all building(s) in the vicinity (but leave the rubble as it is)

Official soundtrack

  • People's Republic of China national anthem
  • African tribal chanting
  • Australian didgeroo music
  • Native North American tribal music
  • J-Pop music

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.