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A Millionaire in Kenora

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A Millionaire in Kenora is a Japanese-style role playing game where the player has just won a million dollars. However, there is a catch: you must live in Kenora, Ontario for six months. We will give you the money as soon as you arrive there. Find a nice house and start buying groceries, furniture, accessories, and paying your bills once you get settled in Kenora. The money you have left over after six months is yours to keep after you live in Kenora for six "nice and simple" months. Find a job, get some Internet access, find a nice college to take some courses in, do it all right here in Kenora, Ontario, Canada.

This is a video game where you are in a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) reality show about living in the least cultured city in Canada. That's right: Kenora, Ontario is looking for a temporary resident who's willing to live up North for six months so that he or she can get rich. Tim Hortons could be a great place to find your spouse (just don't buy their coffee or else you'll get hooked) and those winter storms can be a sexual turn-on for some people. Fighting off bears in the winter time and blackflies in the summer time are a part of the combat sequences found in the outdoor portions of the game using the Final Fantasy V engine. If you die in Kenora before your six months are up, your heirs and successors don't get to inherit that money (because it legally belongs to the studio until you have lived in Kenora for six calendar months).

Try to find some TV stations from Minnesota or Wisconsin to watch; Canadian TV can be downright depressing at times. When hockey season comes on, turn off your lights and watch the NFL instead. If it's the spring time, then watch NASCAR instead - it's way better than the NHL playoffs. There is also the CFL to watch (but your new friends are divided to cheering for either the Winnipeg team or the Toronto team). If you have managed to buy a car with a radio, you can use the car to travel anywhere as long as you don't have to cross the border into the States or leave Kenora District for services other than emergency health. After all, your contract says you have to be in Kenora for six months - no chickening out. Toyota cars are the best cars to buy while players should be wary of Chevrolet models.

Hints

  • Go to the library (you may have to drive for an hour or two) and pay the $10 adminstration fee for a library card. You can get all the culture that you need for the entire six months. Make sure to return the books after 7 days to either renew the borrowing period or to get a new book.
  • Write letters to the local newspaper editor often. You might get people calling on the phone to praise you. You might even bring some more culture (and jobs) to Kenora.
  • Avoid television between 6-7 o'clock at night unless you want to be bored to tears. It applies to both American and Canadian TV stations.
  • Always buy generic brand groceries and soft drink. If possible, drink water from the tap instead of wasting money on bottled water. You are in the hinterlands now.
  • You can start romantic relationships with the residents of Kenora and even have sex with this (think The Sims, not Sex and the City). However, the story will devolve into a soap opera where you have a real chance of not making the six-month stay alive.
  • Try not to eat from chip wagons or hot dog vendors. They do not properly maintain their cooking utensils and may poison you to death. However, they can only operate from July to early September due to the climate zone.

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